THE TWILIGHT ZONE
consumer guide

"The Twilight Zone" is significant because of its vivid storytelling, its consistent anti-intolerance bent, its sly perspective on modern-day anxieties. The transformation of these qualities to the fantasy genre was a necessity due to censorship at the time, but now it has allowed the show to remain timeless. With a few scattered exceptions, the show is always worthwhile and dramatically credible, its first two seasons divine with the third nearly as grand, the last two not far behind. This list offers one person's perspective on the various episodes. A testament to the greatness of the series is that people continue to argue about it intensely forty years after it ended production.
Mentioned frequently below is the Marc Scott Zicree tome "The Twilight Zone Companion," a priceless and highly readable treasure trove of information and criticism. Unfortunately, while Zicree is a skilled interviewer and a fine writer whose opinions are certainly respectable, the book is also full of P.C. mumbo-jumbo, scientific nitpicking, and ideological nonsense, which is why it's mentioned aggressively at several points below. Regardless of that, the book comes enormously recommended and no disrespect to it or to Zicree is intended.


SEASON ONE (1959-60)

Where Is Everybody?
In order to sell the idea of "The Twilight Zone" to CBS, something pretty linear had to be devised, and the result -- about a guy who seems to be the last man on earth -- hasn't aged particularly well. Serling himself lambasted it a decade later. Nonetheless, it does achieve a certain atmosphere and boasts an excellent Bernard Herrmann score. Earl Holliman is quite good, though the script forces him through some awkward monologues not unlike the endless voiceovers in the TV version of Steven Spielberg's "Duel." (B)

One for the Angels
Ed Wynn is great but kind of unconvincing in a story about Death that's really sort of mean-spirited. (B)

Mr. Denton on Doomsday
This western about a formerly glorious drunkard's struggle with, ahem, Fate goes on too long but is fun to a point and boasts a wonderful if minor turn from Martin Landau. (B+)

The Sixteen-Millimeter Shrine
Ida Lupino is superb in this dynamic and moving episode about a woman getting lost in her own past. Supernatural elements are refined and quiet, mostly in the background and restricted to a specific sequence. Kind of a SUNSET BLVD. ripoff, but oh well. (A)

Walking Distance
A simply remarkable episode in which a nostalgic man finds himself back in time in the town of his youth, where he meets his ten year-old self. What could easily have been sentimental nonsense is given layer upon layer of complication by Serling, who quite remarkably seemed to detest the episode when he spoke about it late in his life. Anyway, one of the best, the "laughing ghosts" captured eloquently by all involved, with special mention going once again to Bernard Herrmann. (A+)

Escape Clause
The Devil grants a rather disagreeable man complete invincibility. This episode's cynicism is a bit off-putting, but if you can accept the one-dimensional characterizations it is quite amusing and rather fun, and surprisingly bold. (B+)

The Lonely
A prisoner on a distant planet falls in love with a robot who's been sent to be his sole companion. This sets the tone for much to follow, a straight science fiction tale with a kind of bizarre moral code, with human textures left to suffer as the universe moves on. Sometimes tentative but mostly top-notch. (A-)

Time Enough at Last
The first installment with a real "Twilight Zone" feel is one of the best-known episodes. This is the one in which Burgess Meredith is besieged by hostility in all corners of his life until one day, he is the sole survivor of a nuclear holocaust and finally has time to read all the books he's never gotten around to. Not as mean-spirited as TZ detractors claim it is; the irony has much more weight given the time to develop. (A+)

Perchance to Dream
This is a well-regarded episode, but I personally found it dull and uninvolving, too philosophical and distant for my tastes. (B)

Judgment Night
There's never much doubt as to how this show will turn out, and as an anti-war parable it falls flat, but as an intense, mindbending drama it's a success, with fine performances. (A-)

And When the Sky Was Opened
Rod Taylor gives possibly his best performance ever as a man who suddenly finds he is ceasing to exist. Bizarre, disturbing premise handled gracefully, though it doesn't completely escape a silliness it has attained with age. (A-)

What You Need
A one-note concept, but the full half-hour is padded reasonably well, and the final joke is well-executed. Underrated. (B+)

The Four of Us Are Dying
One of the best episodes of the series, brilliantly, stylishly directed, with a beautiful story structure and haunting dramatics about a man who uses his shapeshifting abilities to take advantage of others. Top-notch TV. (A+)

Third from the Sun
This escape-from-Earth potboiler is exactly like any number of '50s "intelligent" sci-fi films I despise, but it's gripping and enjoyable because it's only a fourth as long. (A-)

I Shot an Arrow into the Air
More stranded astronauts. Zicree talks about how this episode's scientific impossibility mars it, but in fact I found it engrossing and didn't care at all. For the record, not many TZ episodes are scientifically possible. The twist ending here is a keeper. (A-)

The Hitch-Hiker
A change in tone, this one is twisted and oppressive, and I for one do not feel anything is resolved (except in a story sense) at the finale, so the feeling lingers permanently. (A+)

The Fever
Some shrill performances, but it's believable, and it makes me never want to gamble. I love the special effect of the slot machine coming up to a guy's hotel room to fuck him up. (A-)

The Last Flight
Cheesy beyond belief. This is the kind of dumbass shit Spielberg threw around on "Amazing Stories" twenty-odd years later. (B-)

The Purple Testament
In a way, it's kind of a pointless (and free will-denying) story, but as military folktale it's kind of appealing and quite well-acted. (A-)

Elegy
A nice idea but a total failure, precisely because it is so straightforward, failing to investigate any dark psychological undercurrents of the characters' reactions to the bizarre stuff they're seeing. The Kids in the Hall version of the same idea, BRAIN CANDY, was both funnier and creepier. (B-)

Mirror Image
Vera Miles is brilliant and the idea nice, but I was unmoved by the overall execution. However, the direction and performing are so outstanding that the story almost takes a backseat. General paranoid feeling helps intensify the storytelling. (A-)

The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street
To this day, there is no story quite like it. Its beauty is that the twist ending hardly even matters, and the episode would be equally potent without it. Serling's enormously perceptive script is so populated with nuance that the show improves significantly each time you see it. (A+)

A World of Difference
Moving in all the ways one might be determined not to expect, this episode avoids the temptation for cliché by presenting its writer-exercise premise with real conviction. The shouting of "cut!" is genuinely earth-shaking. (A)

Long Live Walter Jameson
A strangely alluring, intelligent story of immortality, precisely the kind of enigmatic storytelling "Twilight Zone" does best. The long head-to-head of the two principals is a good example of what works on television that could never work in the movies. Brilliant show. (A+)

People Are Alike All Over
The direction is nice in this eye-rolling parable, either a PETA preach or a TV Lesson Against Humanism (tm). Stuff like this is why I don't like science fiction much, but anyway, a fun episode, at least in part because of its familiarity. Yay for Roddy McDowall. (B+)

Execution
A pretty clunky premise about time machines and gallows or some damn thing, which at least boasts a kind of whimsy, has good sequences which add up to very little. Basically pointless. (B)

The Big Tall Wish
One of the best Twilight Zone episodes and one of the most mature, a story about magic and a boxer full of possibilities... and Serling takes the best path of all, his point shining true perhaps beyond all of his others. Flawlessly acted. (A+)

A Nice Place to Visit
Potentially amusing -- thanks to Larry Blyden -- Charles Beaumont script really goes nowhere except the lamest possible conclusion. A guy goes to the afterlife where he can gamble, and guess what? (B)

Nightmare as a Child
This one infuriated me. One of the coolest ideas in the whole series is wrecked by sloppy dramatics and poor acting. Who the hell cast this!? Anyway, thank god for 12 MONKEYS. (B)

A Stop at Willoughby
Inescapably similar to "Walking Distance," cleaner and more logical but also a bit colder, this is a bittersweet but nicely sober account of a man Who Must Go Back. (A)

The Chaser
John Collier's completely perfect short story is one of my absolute favorite pieces of fiction. It is about two pages in length and I assumed it would fall flat if filmed at any length, much less a full half-hour. The show's humor, to be sure, isn't barbed in the same way, but it actually works reasonably well, running logically with the idea. I will spend my entire life wishing I could write something like the Collier story, though. (A-)

A Passage for Trumpet
Atmospheric, sophisticated, sweet-natured and fun, this is euphoric TV, with an excellent romantic finale. (A+)

Mr. Bevis
Underrated Serling comedy is off-kilter, one-sided, and futile, but also extremely lively and unique. For sheer perversion, it's not to be missed. (B+)

The After Hours
You've seen it; it's the one with the mannequins. Effectively creepy and even more effectively bizarre (a thimble?), this is storytelling with economy, urgency, and sheer horror. (A+)

The Mighty Casey
The weakest show of the first season, this robot-baseball story is a bore. (C+)

A World of His Own
Goofy and enjoyable parody of the ultimate writers' dream: to control one's surroundings through the pen, or in this case, the tape recorder. Fabulous ending. (A)

SEASON TWO (1960-61)


King Nine Will Not Return
Poor Robert Cummings wanders around alone and suffers with a terrible script in this total misfire about a man lost. A struggle to watch. (C)

The Man in the Bottle
Complete Zicree Gaffe #1: This episode about the discovery of a genie in an antique shop is knowing, effective, and sometimes funny. The performances are excellent. This is about fifty times better than "King Nine". (A-)

Nervous Man in a Four Dollar Room
And that's about it. Please, can we have a moratorium on the people talking to themselves? Love the tough-guy scene toward the top, however. (B)

A Thing About Machines
Complete Zicree Gaffe #2: This is a comic treasure, with a beautifully one-dimensional performance by Richard Haydn, outstanding special effects, and all sorts of hilarious moments (some of them probably not entirely intentional, but that's okay). Only problem is the endless chase scene in the last act. (A)

The Howling Man
Wildly surreal, spooky, and unforgettable visit to an old dark house with a terrifying secret. The atmosphere is above feature quality, the direction masterful. (A+)

Eye of the Beholder
The classic about the eleven-time plastic surgery patient about to have the bandages come off again; if she hasn't improved this time, she's off to the ugly camp. Use the DVD to adjust your TV's brightness. (A+)

Nick of Time
One of the most effective and resonant shows, this is a Matheson stroke of genius with William Shatner incredibly good, haunted by the predictions of a fortunetelling machine in a cafe. This stirring tale about people imprisoned by false faith is heady, believable stuff. (A+)

The Lateness of the Hour
Laughable nonsense about emotionally distant family, shot on videotape and looking for all the world like "All My Children". (C+)

The Trouble with Templeton
Another subtle episode with one enormously moving scene (you'll know it when you see it) that pushes it to the top. Revolves around actor who is No Longer At His Best with his wife dead. (A-)

A Most Unusual Camera
Stop me if you've heard this one: There's a camera, acquired under somewhat mysterious circumstances, and it takes pictures of how people are going to die!!!!! Horribly unsympathetic characters kill this one. (C+)

Night of the Meek
My favorite Twilight Zone episode, about what happens to a store Santa after a drinking binge gets him fired. Emotional, majestic, and beautifully-rendered, this one is really shattering. One of the best things ever shown on TV, in my opinion, and the final scenes will get you every time. (A+)

Dust
Western with a good message about faith is simply too subtle for its own good and goes on forever. (B)

Back There
OK H.G. Wellsian silliness about a time traveler's attempt to stop the Lincoln assassination is basically just the kind of thing that got rejected on a daily basis from the sci-fi digests, yet it is pretty dramatically credible. (B+)

The Whole Truth
Complete Zicree gaffe #3: Zicree, apparently a pretty extreme leftist with no sense of humor, dismisses this as anti-commie pap; it's actually hysterical, a parody of the automobile industry that uses the public image of the USSR very well in its punchline. (A-)

The Invaders
A one-woman show with the great Agnes Moorhead is automatically an event, but this is a spooky episode anyway, made extremely impressive by her performance. The twist is a little predictable, but who cares? (A)

Twenty-Two
Despite some cool moments and interesting ideas, the budget of this episode -- about a woman's visions of her own death -- sinks it fast; it looks insanely cheap. (B)

A Penny for Your Thoughts
Ingenious comedy episode featuring Dick York is one of the most pleasing episodes in the show's run; after accidentally balancing a penny, he can hear the thoughts of everyone he encounters. Everything about this one is well-considered and balanced, and York is excellent. (A)

The Odyssey of Flight 33
Forgettable space story with okay script, fine acting, good special effects. (B+)

Mr. Dingle, the Strong
Complete (and I do mean COMPLETE) Zicree gaffe #4: This brilliant episode is one of the most maligned in the series, presumably so rated by people who -- I hate to say this, but it's the only theory I can think of -- simply don't understand it. It is not a social statement or an attack on common man or whatever, it is an absurdist, masterfully executed sci-fi satire with big laughs and a grand Burgess Meredith performance. Really a treasure; fuck the naysayers. (A)

Static
Yet another winner in the middle of one of the show's best runs; despite a somewhat disappointing ending, this funny and sad chronicle of a man's desire to escape into his own past through the rediscovery of radio shows he once cherished is fully relevant and tremendously well-acted, with several scenes that are awe-inspiring in every way. (A)

The Prime Mover
Now, THIS is exactly why I love The Twilight Zone. Engrossing, economical storytelling, intensely likable characters and tone, a great sense of humor, and a smart ending, all balanced by a good idea -- a man's supernatural ability allows him to aid his friend in a gambling scheme -- made human by the TZ crew and cast. Not a widely remembered outing, but one of the best. (A+)

Long Distance Call
I won't deny that I could probably think of better endings, but it's amazing that a story this dark made it to TV at all. A terrifying tale of a boy corrupted by his dead grandmother, this impossibly creepy show manages to turn many of the TZ conventions around to create something of unique atmosphere and full of genuine horror. (A+)

A Hundred Yards Over the Rim
Well-acted and well-considered, but seriously unconvincing saga of a journey to the old West (yeah, that place again) gone somewhat awry by a freak time travel incident. (B+)

The Rip Van Winkle Caper
Creepy extended setpiece is performed quite well, with the usual memorable archetypes. The death of one of the sleepers during hibernation is well-done. (A-)

The Silence
Certainly an "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" story more than a "Twilight Zone," this isn't fantastic or ironic so much as "can you believe they're going this far?" It concerns a smug intellectual type giving a compulsive talker a challenge for a vast reward and feels like a great short story. (A)

Shadow Play
It's fun to see Dennis Weaver (R.I.P.) in a JACOB'S LADDER-style story, but I have the same shaggy-dog sensation I did with that movie. Well-done, anyway. (B+)

The Mind and the Matter
Brilliantly written and very funny skit featuring Shelley Berman, Shelley Berman, and more Shelley Berman, a keenly observed portrait of not-entirely-uncalled-for cynicism and an entirely called-for revolt against it. (A-)

Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?
Complete Zicree gaffe #5: So this is what Zicree finds funny. Although the performance of Jack Elam is worth keeping, this episode is an utter disaster. Very poorly written and horrendously stagy (and feeling strongly like a writing-class assignment), incompetently directed, and simply not at all interesting, this one has little to recommend. (D+)

The Obsolete Man
Severe in every way and far too compromising in its message, this visually breathtaking episode is certainly pretty strong stuff, featuring Burgess Meredith (great again) as a voice of reason in a tyrannical futuristic society. Heavy-handed, resembling propaganda, but undeniably good. (A-)

SEASON THREE (1961-62)

Two
While it's a nice and subtle episode, this apocalyptic love story just isn't substantial enough to amount to more than a pleasant and slightly thought-provoking sketch. Excellent performances by Elizabeth Montgomery and Charles Bronson. (B+)

The Arrival
An awesomely poorly conceived storyline exemplifies many of the flaws that began to overtake The Twilight Zone around this time. But the setup is intriguing enough. (B)

The Shelter
One of the show's most fondly remembered moments, a haunting reaction to the hysteria of its time, as disturbing in its own way as "The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street," with humanity's worst tendencies coming out on clear display in the battle for a bomb shelter. Execeptional. (A-)

The Passersby
Not-bad Civil War silliness about the road between this or that world. Thirty minutes is much too long for such a simple idea. (B)

A Game of Pool
Deliciously ironic and tense, but naturally, there's a little too much pool. The pacing is Alfred Hitchcock Presents ponderous. (A-)

The Mirror
Although it's a bit of a Cold War artifact, this show is excellent to a degree until it stoops to the obvious. Peter Falk is wonderfully over-the-top as a Fidel Castro stereotype, and the show does make an excellent point about dictatorships, even if it's not nearly as apt as the same joke in BANANAS. (B+)

The Grave
Excruciatingly slow Montgomery Pittman nonsense reenacting one of the oldest and lamest of all folktales... with a kinda-sorta twist. One wishes that Alvin Schwartz had worked on the show and could have shown Pittman how silly this was, and maybe injected some life into it. Again, this one is carried by the performances and remains quite watchable unless you're even slightly tired. (B)

It's a GOOD Life
Must I explain myself on this one? One of the few truly great moments in television and one of the most disturbing stories ever put on film, presented with not a false move or second by Serling and director James Sheldon, and featuring an unforgettable performance by Billy Mumy. Absolutely astounding, to this day. (A+)

Deaths-Head Revisited
Well-meaning and sometimes effectively creepy but goofy and padded Holocaust piffle. (B+)

The Midnight Sun
The kind of material TZ haters always point to as the reason the show is so unpleasant to watch, this melodramatic, overly manipulative end-of-the-world pulp junk is immaculately made and performed, but more than a little pointless and familiar. (B+)

Still Valley
They ain't joking. Yet another snails-pace TZ Civil War story with down-home cuntree stereotypes, this one is insulting and idiotic and brings Satan in just to make things worse. Kitschy, at least. (B-)

The Jungle
Majestically executed Beaumont story is one of the most beautiful episodes, but its conclusion is a bit of a disappointment, and the script's struggle for Meaning is completely unnecessary. Magnificent in its fashion. (A-)

Once Upon a Time
Devastatingly funny and delicate Zone peak, starring Buster Keaton as -- basically -- himself, and toying with silent film, the past, the present, and time travel with yearning precision. One of the greatest Twilight Zone episodes. (A+)

Five Characters in Search of an Exit
Unusually pretentious TZ fantasy outing makes up for it with wild ideas and brilliant directon and design topping the equally ambitious "Obsolete Man" easily. An impressive achievement. (A)

A Quality of Mercy
Quick, stereotypical, unintentionally funny WWII thingamajig is inoffensive and instantly forgettable. (B)

Nothing in the Dark
One of the most beautifully staged Twilight Zone episodes, this is the classic about elderly Gladys Cooper and her fear of everything outside her home, which complicates matters when a warm-hearted but mysterious gentleman shows up at her door. Flawless. (A+)

One More Pallbearer
While the premise is fun and the execution quite delicious, the episode's message is too confused to have much impact, though I don't think it's as simple as its detractors claim it to be. This might work better if any of the characters made any sense at all, or if its sense of moral hygiene wasn't so laughable. (B+)

Dead Man's Shoes
Dynamic, visually arresting tall tale about, of all things, shoe theft. Some call it pointless, but it is pure and infectious insanity, the compelling kind. One of the most unusual and exciting shows. (A)

The Hunt
Lambasted by most TZ fans, this is a silly but fun episode by Earl Hamner that owes more to his bland Waltons future than most of his Zone contributions. The fact that people are affected enough by this to hate it amazes me; it couldn't be more harmless, or, in fact, charming. And I am southern. (B+)

Showdown with Rance McGrew
If nothing else, this episode is fun to watch just to see how dated its humor is, given that we now live in the age of UNFORGIVEN and Deadwood, when people decry the absence of the very kind of "wholesome" westerns this episode targets. Enthusiastic performances lift this from the mediocre. (B+)

Kick the Can
Though it does show how George Clayton Johnson was no Rod Serling by crossing a few too many lines between honesty and sentiment, in ways "Walking Distance" never did, this episode deserves its reputation, capturing the zest of youth and the feeling of loss that follows it, but perhaps a bit too naive in its treatment of old age. "The Trade Ins" is much better, but for all its fallacies, "Kick the Can" is a dramatically perfect episode -- in terms of dialogue, direction, and acting, it cannot be faulted. (A)

A Piano in the House
Yes, it's one-dimensional, who gives a shit? This one is a blast, featuring the classic cliched Twilight Zone Cranky Guy, this time a critic who hates everybody. Maybe it is a reflection of a sensitive writer's simple-minded interpretation of who his enemies really are (the futile search for some alternative biology, perhaps?), but it is a goddamned sincere and messy and wonderful reflection of that special kind of wrongheaded anger. I dig it. (A-)

The Last Rites of Jeff Myrtlebank
Another very, very slow Montgomery Pittman episode, this one slides into Earl Hamner territory but it's duller than Hamner ever was. The attempts at humor in "Last Rites" are neither as ragged nor as honest as those of any of Serling's much-decried comedy episodes. The show doesn't play well at all today and just feels like thirty minutes of half-assed Green Acres or above-average Beverly Hillbillies. There is a sweetness to it, faintly, but it's just not enough, and a waste of an excellent premise. (B)

To Serve Man
Undoubtedly the most overrated Twilight Zone episode, "To Serve Man" is soaked in science fiction cliches, and I find it difficult to believe that it was terribly original at the time either. While the irony has its value, it is now too overplayed to have any effect on a new audience, and the direction is clunky and uninspired, the story structure surprisingly unbalanced. A comparison to the 1990 Simpsons parody of the episode, which required more brainpower and brilliance than the whole show and is barely a third of its length, is enough to show that Serling was coasting through this. But having said all that, it is a classic for a reason: at the core of it all, it works, and you can't deny it's exciting. (A-)

The Fugitive
The plot makes basically no sense, but it's the idea that matters here, and even more than that, the performers, and everyone involved captures perfectly the relationship between two misfits. Warm and inviting. (A-)

Little Girl Lost
A scary and shockingly realistic interdimensional nightmare in which a child rolls under the bed and is suddenly nowhere to be found. No irony here, just great storytelling, the best performance of all being that of writer Richard Matheson, at the top of his game. (A+)

Person or Persons Unknown
A done-to-death sci-fi concept (suddenly, a guy wakes up and is a stranger to all of his loved ones) is done very professionally, but remains unconvincing and tired. Flashes of greatness here and there. (B+)

The Little People
This is also clichéd, but the finesse and dramatic power here are what make all the difference. Kudos. (A)

Four O'Clock
The eccentric lead character with his crazy scheme is a lot of fun, but the window dressing added to pad out the drama weighs down what could have been an enjoyable show. (B)

Hocus Pocus and Frisby
While it contains some amusing ideas and is a worthy precedent to the trashy UFO subculture of the '80s and '90s, this episode is a bit of a step downward when compared to "Mr. Dingle, the Strong" and other lighthearted episodes. (B+)

The Trade-Ins
Stunning parable about love and aging, told with alarming finesse in one of the series' most brilliant episodes. Emotional power is truly crushing in one of the great examples of science fiction that takes advantage of its possibilities. The ending is among the great moments in television. "Kick the Can" doesn't even come close. (A+)

The Gift
This sensitive story is not told particularly badly but is poorly acted and directed. While far too slow, it remains inoffensive, watchable, and fairly intelligent. (B-)

The Dummy
Like nearly all TV episodes about ventroloquist dummies, this is stupid, senseless, and boring, but hard to completely dislike. Has many defenders. (B)

Young Man's Fancy
Clichéd, enormously stereotypical account of a newlywed gentleman who still lives in the shadow of his dead mother. Competent but useless post-PSYCHO popcorn. (B-)

I Sing the Body Electric
The 100th episode, Ray Bradbury's lone contribution to the series, reflects the great writer's lack of understanding of screen dialogue, and is also an incredibly pointless, badly structured tale, but has ample value as a curio. (B)

Cavender Is Coming
Carol Burnett is wonderful in this delicious comedy episode that is essentially a clone of "Mr. Bevis." Breaks no new ground, but lots of fun. (B+)

The Changing of the Guard
A Twilight Zone episode that's no more supernatural than GOODBYE MR. CHIPS, and in fact basically is GOODBYE MR. CHIPS except a lot shorter, which is all good and well, but the story is still lame. Fine performances and direction really can't justify the episode's existence, but if you watch it instead of MR. CHIPS you'll save lots of time and frustration. No Robert Donat here, though. (B+)

SEASON FOUR (1963)

This season contains all of the hour-length episodes.

In His Image
In this story about a man's discovery that he is not exactly human, all the problems of the fourth TZ season come quickly to the forefront: Interest is maintained for about the first 35 minutes, then suddenly you find it harder and harder to care. (B+)

The Thirty Fathom Grave
Oh my god, some guy on a war ship is having seizures, and there's noise coming from a WWII submarine below. Entirely excruciating, the worst example of the problems with the hour shows. As Zicree points out, they send divers down FOUR TIMES and take long, dramatic pauses as every bit of information is revealed. While credible, as the show nearly always was, this is a ten-minute idea stretched to fifty. (B-)

Valley of the Shadow
Disappointing Charles Beaumont entry about a strange town where people seem to have remarkable powers begins quite well but loses all direction less than halfway in. (B)

He's Alive
Cheeseball stuff about neo-Nazi kid taking advice from a mysterious stranger who for some reason is always seen in shadows, this is notable only for the lack of compromise in its depiction of hatred. (B-)

Mute
Zicree's well-meaning viewpoint of this episode -- that it discourages the exceptional talents among us from exposing their gifts, like a reverse-INCREDIBLES -- misses the fact that it only supports the trashing of unique values in favor of personal choice. This is complicated somewhat by the depiction of the girl's teacher as a crazy bitch, but I can't oppose complicating your line of reasoning; it's certainly what I would do, because otherwise, you make people like Zicree far too comfortable. More bothersome is, again, the ridiculous overlength. But this one has lots of unintended laughs, if nothing else. (B+)

Death Ship
Okay, not great, but very well-acted episode about a power struggle aboard a crashed aircraft occupied by people not sure they can believe what they see. Watchable and intriguing, but um, what exactly is the point again? (B+)

Jess-Belle
A turn-the-lights-down-low backwoods fairy tale, spun like an intricate and glorious web by Earl Hamner, who shows himself to be a masterful storyteller (and songwriter), but even more importantly, an unbelievably great wordsmith; virtually every line of dialogue in this episode is poetic and brilliant, and the story begs not to be spoiled. More than great TV, this is great literature. (A+)

Miniature
I don't even know where to begin talking about this one. Robert Duvall is so smashingly wondrous and childlike in this episode, and he is able with complete conviction to tap into the world of a lost soul who finds comfort nowhere except with the objects through which he finds a silent understanding. The final act is among the most beautifully performed and edited moments I'm aware of in television. Duvall's repetition of "I love you" is hypnotic; you'll never recover. (A+)

Printer's Devil
Is there anything Burgess Meredith can't do!? No. He is, indeed, the Devil in this episode, and he's rather open about it, writing up the news just after making it like a supernatural Charles Foster Kane. The script isn't anything special, but the episode itself is a fine one. (A-)

No Time Like the Past
In this order: Weird, stupid, boring, didactic, arbitrary, weird again, boring again, stupid again, then suddenly rather touching as it enters a second half that anticipates BACK TO THE FUTURE PART III but isn't nearly as brave. This episode feels like an experiment that, while credible and eventually fun, doesn't work and ends in a totally unsatisfying manner. (B)

The Parallel
Universe, that is. There are enough perverse touches and humanistic performances in this to have made for a good half hour show, but at this length it is close to intolerable. (B-)

I Dream of Genie
This is a bloated show, no doubt, and its ending makes no sense, but like Joseph Mankiewicz's A LETTER TO THREE WIVES, while the body of the piece may be flimsy, its individual pieces are divine, in particular the segment in which the leading character marries his crush and goes Hollywood, daring and cynical and marvellously funny. Well worth seeing. (B+)

The New Exhibit
Anything with wax figures that come to life is good, but this is especially good. Fun and creepy excursion into the mind of a madman, played with not a false moment by Martin Balsam, who is yet another TZ character slowly done in and destroyed by his obsessions. Nothing is quite as it seems in this one. (A-)

Of Late I Think of Cliffordville
Okay, another story about a man who wants to Go Back. TZ uses a lot of its stock old-people cliches and "simple life" fakery for this one, but give it a chance; it is at least very entertaining. (B+)

The Incredible World of Horace Ford
Next to "Miniature," the best of the hour shows, which interestingly features a very similar storyline but a far more realistic, commanding, and nearly as moving resolution. A toymaker played by Pat Hingle in what may be the most insanely wonderful performance in any TZ episode is growing increasingly obsessed with his childhood, to a degree that no longer seems harmless. Reginald Rose's script, initially written for another series, is full of sophisticated characterization and leaves no dark territory unseen. (A+)

On Thursday We Leave for Home
Disturbing but slightly overbearing episode about a man's control over an isolated society -- and his mixed feelings when they are rescued. Intelligent science fiction that, again, could easily have been better in the half-hour format. (A-)

Passage on the Lady Anne
Charles Beaumont's beautiful story about marriage and old age feels like an even more personal tale than "Miniature." While this does not have a lot to do with the TZ format, it is a moving and highly adult show that ranks with the best in the series, several moments reaching heights of delicacy rarely seen on the series. (A)

The Bard
Serling's dishearteningly unfunny send-up of the television industry has its moments (with John Williams playing Shakespeare and Burt Reynolds playing Marlon Brando, how could it not?), but is the victim of poor casting in the lead role, and could probably have used a few rewrites. A major disappointment. (B)

SEASON FIVE (1963-64)

The show returns to half-hour format.

In Praise of Pip
Twilight Zone regulars Jack Klugman and Billy Mumy are both sensational in this extremely touching, even haunting story of the father of a wounded and dying Vietnam soldier, who laments both his squandered relationship with his son and his own wasted life in a welcome revision of "One for the Angels" which lives up to the promise of that show more fully. One of Serling's real treasures. (A)

Steel
Disturbing Richard Matheson effort about the need of a man to prove himself -- by fighting an impossible fight to get the money to fix the robot that's supposed to be in his place -- is also uplifting in its own way, but of course only the kind of perverse way that might be acceptable for The Twilight Zone. (A-)

Nightmare at 20,000 Feet
The fact that the "gremlin" is obviously a man in a suit is not indicative of the quality of the episode. The fact that the "gremlin" and the episode are still scary as all hell is indicative. William Shatner is shockingly excellent, hitting all the right notes, as he proves his sanity to himself and Dick Matheson proves his prowess by freaking us all out for the rest of our natural lives. Unforgettable. (A+)

A Kind of a Stopwatch
I can't help but wish that TZ would stay away from these incredibly irritating characters more often -- especially since it's obviously well aware of how annoying they are -- but this is still a fun story of a man who is (for no reason, it seems) given a stopwatch that can completely stop time. My only question is, why does he stand around putting plants in bald mens' hair when he could be looking up dresses? Don't say "because it's television." (B+)

The Last Night of a Jockey
Mickey Rooney succeeds admirably in letting us grow (ha!) to like a man who never, ever stops shouting. Rooney is the only living thing in this episode, and he carries it well. (A-)

Living Doll
Her name is Talky Tina, and she doesn't like you. With "It's a Good Life" excepted, TZ was never as terrifying as it was in its final season, with "Living Doll" approaching near-nihilism. As in "After Hours," everything comes with a touch of menace, sometimes even dread, and like the best TZ scripts, there is a clear understanding of the need to amp up everything, uncovering the possibilities of all the nooks and crannies in the story. The result is the stuff of nightmares. (A+)

The Old Man in the Cave
Zicree quite correctly mentions that a certain aspect of this episode seems to be critical of humans' desire for free will, which of course is inexcusable, except if you notice that other parts of the episode seem to have the opposite message. In fact, looking over this carefully I honestly can't figure out what the fuck Serling is getting at, which would be fine if the episode weren't obviously attempting to say something. Maybe, again, it's sheer nihilism. Either way, you can't write it off as religious nonsense when "god" is depicted as a freaking computer. And you can't write it off as anything, really, because it is extremely well-shot and well-performed; the last few shots are unforgettable. (B+)

Uncle Simon
Again, populated by annoying characters, this time a girl caring for an elderly uncle in a DOLORES CLAIBORNE-type situation who shout at one another endlessly, but the irony in this one is delicious, the prop that brings it into focus a jewel. Again, this can be seen as nihilistic, which many see as the downfall of the series, and I would agree if the change weren't so damned interesting in the context of the first four years. Whatever the case, this is another nightmare. (A-)

Probe 7, Over and Out
It is quite true that the ending of this episode about a lost spaceman is the most "oh, come ON" moment in the entire run of The Twilight Zone, but the show's dramatic credibility again compensates; it's just too entertaining and well-done for one to be terribly bothered by the clichéd aspects. (B+)

The 7th Is Made Up of Phantoms
A modern (well, 1963) tank rides right into the scene of Custer's last stand at Little Bighorn. This feels like an hour show, which it isn't, because you could tell this story in about ten minutes, maybe less. But it's got a kind of romantic zeal about it that's hard to resist. (B+)

A Short Drink from a Certain Fountain
Can you guess what fountain? While the unbearable character of the wife is necessary for the episode to work, she makes it damn near impossible to watch, but stick with it for some "Uncle Simon"-style irony that is much, much more well-deserved. (B+)

Ninety Years without Slumbering
This is a show that probably should have been a little less simple, and one wishes it had been developed as an hour-long episode, but it's still fun to watch Ed Wynn as a man who believes he will die when his grandfather clock stops ticking. The show comes with a welcome message about hokum and closes with a surprising declaration: "I don't believe in you, therefore you don't exist"... which is then given as the moral of the story! A strong showing. (A-)

Ring-a-Ding Girl
I was delighted by this Earl Hamner episode, which doesn't have a lot to do with country folk, but is instead a sweet-natured story, following a Hollywood celebrity, about sacrifice and a kind of transported "Jess-Belle" folktale. I don't know where Hamner's gift for dialogue went, but aside from that, the episode is quite affecting. (A-)

You Drive
Additional moral justice from Earl Hamner in an episode that precedes THE MACHINIST by about four decades. After killing a child in a hit and run, a man tries to forget about the incident, but his car can't seem to clear its head. Great fun, with considerable depth for its length; strangely, this is the second time in the series that a man is chased by a car with no driver. (A-)

The Long Morrow
Highly effective and touching futuristic twist on "The Gift of the Magi" manages to convince the audience of various improbable things in a very short space of time. A story that is able to present an idyllic vision of true love and fire holes through it. (A-)

The Self-Improvement of Salvadore Ross
Salvadore is an asshole with an infatuation for an inaccessible woman; one day he finds that he can make a peculiar kind of exchange to improve his status. This might be a more enjoyable show if its lead character and his supernatural ability made more sense. Instead, it's an interesting but hardly unique addition to the "What You Need" mold. (B+)

Number 12 Looks Just Like You
A companion to "Eye of the Beholder" (and THE INCREDIBLES), this is a passionate condemnation of conformity full of striking visuals and wonderfully kitschy performances. Its statement about the nature of beauty is, if anything, stronger than that of the older episode: If everyone is the same, there's no such thing as beauty. Additionally, in the vacant smiles and skin-tight uniforms of this episode's world, we find a new and entirely unnerving kind of fear. (A+)

Black Leather Jackets
Amusingly overbaked entry about a motorcycle gang that actually consists of aliens, meaning that the neighbors' fears about them are entirely justified. It's nearly impossible to take an episode with this story seriously, but that seems to be the intent. Unfortunately, it can't be enjoyably cheesy either, since in its second half it succumbs to complete boredom. (B-)

Night Call
To my mind, the most horrific Twilight Zone episode, about mysterious phone calls received by Gladys Cooper in the middle of the night. Richard Matheson brilliantly twists a horror tale into a love story, then finally reveals that we've all been duped. This one could keep a person up all night. (A+)

From Agnes - With Love
A stunningly sure-handed comedy episode starring Wally Cox as a man who takes dating advice from a gigantic computer. With an absurd and well-rounded sense of irony and many big laughs with an enormous payoff, this one is far ahead of its time. (A)

Spur of the Moment
Though its biggest scare comes in the first few seconds, this episode seems to depict Richard Matheson's mindset at the time: it begins as a dark, spellbinding tale and gets drearier and more disturbing as it goes. A woman is chased by a mysterious figure who calls out her name, and the reasons why are the stuff of true torment. The face of terror, indeed. (A)

An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge
Not actually filmed for The Twilight Zone, this award-winning French short about a Confederate soldier's hanging is beautifully photographed and fits perfectly with the TZ aesthetic. (A)

Queen of the Nile
Well-performed episode about immortal movie star credited to Charles Beaumont is shockingly predictable and derivative of Beaumont's earlier "Long Live Walter Jameson." (B)

What's in the Box
The most annoying episode yet, about an intolerably whiny bickering couple whose TV set is repaired by Sterling Holloway and can suddenly depict the future, or the present, or something. Holloway offers the only highlight in this dreary outing. (D+)

The Masks
Wonderfully scary episode about moral justice and Mardi Gras directed exceptionally by Ida Lupino. It involves a dying man giving his greedy relatives a gruesome comeuppance. (A+)

I Am the Night - Color Me Black
Well-intentioned anti-hatred parable is painfully slow, claustrophobic, and boring. (B-)

Sounds and Silences
A rare instance of The Twilight Zone throwing out its credibility in favor of poorly-mounted humor and lame performances, this show follows the adventures of a man who loves noise and how "poetic justice" is dished out. Wrongheaded and stupid, this one was out of circulation for years, and it was no big loss. (C)

Caesar and Me
Ventroloquist thing. Less cinematic and credible than "The Dummy" but a bit more interesting, this is a difficult one to judge. Not-bad script by the producer's secretary (!), but it's just been done so many times before (and since). (B-)

The Jeopardy Room
An episode by Serling that fits the Twilight Zone format perhaps less than any other episode in the series, with only "The Silence" competing, this nail-biting political thriller stars Martin Landau as a man trapped in a room by the Russians, who challenge him to find the weapon that will destroy him before it's too late. Immaculately executed, with a thoroughly satisfying conclusion. (A-)

Stopover in a Quiet Town
Insanely predictable retread of "Five Characters in Search of an Exit" has great sets and is competent, but falls apart quickly. (B-)

The Encounter
Existentialist World War II pap about a Japanese-American kid played notably by George Takei confronting an overzealous veteran in an attic. Good idea, good execution, poor script. (B)

Mr. Garrity and the Graves
Though it suffers from one unfortunate mistake halfway through, this is a brilliantly funny show from Serling about a con man who dupes a town full of people into thinking he can raise the dead. John Edward should watch this. (A-)

The Brain Center at Whipple's
Workers are replaced by robots while the president of the company gloats about efficiency. Simple-minded idiocy that goes nowhere. (C+)

Come Wander with Me
Intriguing, bizarre, completely random little nothing about a rockabilly singer who is stuck in a mobius strip of existence as he searches for genuine folk tunes to record. Perhaps the oddest Twilight Zone ever filmed, and the last one shot. (B-)

The Fear
Though it is well-acted, this alien claptrap -- despite a fun, insightful conclusion -- shares with many of the last few episodes an incompetence of form, particularly in terms of the attempt to take a stab at serious social issues. Boring people monologue endlessly, and it's hard to keep one's mind from wandering. (C)

The Bewitchin' Pool
The last episode of the series that aired is its worst, mostly because it has so much squandered potential. Earl Hamner's idea (about children who escape their bickering parents by hiding away in a "secret place" they find at the bottom of their swimming pool) is wonderful, his script is ridiculous, and the performances are terrible. There is virtually nothing redeeming about the show, which is a shame, because it is a great setup. Serling's closing narration does give it a few extra points, becoming an accidental summation of the series as a whole. (D+)

***

THE BEST OF THE TWILIGHT ZONE
1. Night of the Meek (season two)
2. Miniature (season four)
3. The Trade-Ins (season three)
4. It's a Good Life (season three)
5. Living Doll (season five)
6. Nick of Time (season two)
7. The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street (season one)
8. The After Hours (season one)
9. Nightmare at 20,000 Feet (season five)
10. The Four of Us Are Dying (season one)
11. Long Distance Call (season two)
12. The Howling Man (season two)
13. Time Enough at Last (season one)
14. Walking Distance (season one)
15. The Big Tall Wish (season one)
16. Night Call (season five)
17. Once Upon a Time (season three)
18. Little Girl Lost (season three)
19. Eye of the Beholder (season two)
20. The Prime Mover (season two)
21. The Incredible World of Horace Ford (season four)
22. Number 12 Looks Just Like You (season five)
23. Nothing in the Dark (season three)
24. Jess-Belle (season four)
25. The Masks (season five)

TWILIGHT ZONE ON DVD
Season Three DVD review
Season Four DVD review
Season Five DVD review

TWILIGHT ZONE LJ INDEX
Donnie Darko review
1000th post
best DVDs of 2006
Get Smart DVD review
Fanny and Alexander
Get Smart DVD reaction
The Prisoner DVD
Get Smart pricing
Get Smart DVDs
12 Angry Men
early version of this guide
Earl Hamner
way behind on reviewing
year in writing
best DVDs of year
The Machinist review
Laura review
Sunset Blvd. review
uncut DVDs
Charlie & the Chocolate Factory rant
Harris Teeter is
Season Two DVD set reaction
where you get drunk
or was that on TZ?
quick review of Season One DVD
all about the first season
DVD art
TZ: The Movie review
The Ring review
season sets announcement
Night of the Meek
lament about then-current DVD sets