THE BEACH BOYS
Summer in Paradise (1992)
Brother Records
Produced by TERRY MELCHER
The Beach Boys' only post-Brian album, rejected by Capitol and printed independently, this shunned (and now nearly impossible to find) release gives much credibility to the theory that Mike Love is indeed an untalented hack. It's practically a Mike solo album, though Carl sings on it and Al and Bruce have some dull contributions. This is no way to end a great career. Covers of the Shangri-Las, the Drifters, and Sly & the Family Stone (!) all fall flat while violently destructing everything that made the respective artists' recordings great. That's nothing compared to the pure-horseshit originals. "Still Surfin'" is three times as bad as its title, and that's saying a lot; it's also the best song on the album. Mike Love attempts to "rap" on "Summer of Love" (pun intended) and the result is one of the most wrongheaded, worthless, horrible pop songs you are ever likely to hear ("Doing onto others is the Golden Rule / But doing it to you would be so very cool"). From the trite bohemia of "Strange Things Happen" to the title track, this stuff is obnoxious, lyrically irredemible, and genuinely frightening.

It's also pretty sad that they think if they rewrite "Kokomo" ("Island Fever," "Lahaina Aloha") they can redeem themselves, but I can't help but be even more offended, to a frankly appalling extent, by the idiotic "current" remakes of "Surfin'" and particularly "Forever," on which the band allows the inhumanely useless John Stamos to deface Dennis Wilson's most beloved composition. No grace, no restraint, no respect whatsoever. Everyone involved deserves to be shot for this one, given that they claimed it was done in loving memory of Dennis. I still have not forgiven them and I don't plan to do so. If you are thinking of seeking this out hoping for a "so bad it's good" treasure, I must kindly direct you elsewhere. Don't waste your money. May Love and Melcher burn for eternity, and John Stamos even longer.