[with GRANT BUELL, STEPHANIE COIN, DAVID A. JOHNSON, KALLEN LAW, S. PICK]
10-15-04:
Someday, classes will be taught using the Weekly Dispatch, a tradition I am only too happy to inaugurate.
Teacher: One time, to confuse my parents, I wore a different outfit every time I walked into the living room. Pupil: I was really hyper for a while apparently Pupil: I even had one of those kid leashes Teacher: HAHAHA Teacher: man I remember seeing that at Disneyworld Teacher: can that go in the dispatch without your name?
LINK OF THE WEEK.National Alliance Teacher: give me your thoughts on racism Pupil: uhhhh bad thing but it's unavoidable Pupil: it will always be a part of society so blah Pupil: whatever Pupil: i'm not really affected by it as much as you might think Teacher: you think it's irrevocable? Pupil: yeah Teacher: so you don't think our evoluton permits us to escape things like that eventually? Pupil: yes Teacher: anyway, you're probably right but regardless of whether it's avoidable I think we should STRIVE to avoid it Pupil: yes, true Pupil: i'm not saying we should do nothing about it Teacher: ideally we ought to live in a country where hatred is considered ridiculous Teacher: unless it's hatred of those awful italians Teacher: THEY R STEALING JOBS!!!!! Pupil: wow Pupil: new Jon Spencer Blues Explosion Pupil: there's another band named Teacher: SHIFTING GEARS, EH? Pupil: John Spencer Booze Explosion Pupil: yeah Teacher: SLACK MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRRRRRRR Pupil: The Wedge is on Pupil: of course i have to "shift gears" Teacher: well you wouldn't Teacher: if you bought an "automatic" Teacher: HAHAHAHAHAHA Pupil: god you're funny Teacher: thanks Teacher: although I'm no Val "Real Genius" Kilmer! Pupil: he's the king of comedy Teacher: I am reading an article Teacher: claiming that exposure to black people causes autism Pupil: and Pupil: oh shit Pupil: OH SHIT Pupil: MY BLOODY VALENTINE VID NEXT
VOCABULARY WORD OF THE WEEK.
Teacher: word association time Teacher: DYKES Pupil: Dams Teacher: very good.
Pupil: what's with your SERIOUS discussion topics
I FOUND IT ON THE ROAD.
Teacher: in ten words or less give me your thoughts on this: Teacher: hatred. Pupil: Worse than love, better than John Mayer
PHOTOESSAY.
Teacher: you are walking down the road Teacher: you see a sign
Teacher: what does the sign say? Pupil: STOP
ENEMIES LIST. Oliver Stone Teacher: Oliver Stone sucks so much that everyone's starting to realize it. Teacher: He could make the view from the top of the Eiffel Tower look decadent and boring. Teacher: He would do this by somehow turning it into something misogynistic, like maybe some French ladies licking the tower and talking about how they wish they had a man to blow, and moving through about 500 quick cuts every minute. He would be called a maverick for doing it. Teacher: And Richard Nixon would be played by Crispin Glover. Pupil: Actually that sounds pretty good.
Pupil: What the hell is this, some sort of sick test?
Teacher: Oliver Stone sucks so much that everyone's starting to realize it.